mid-life crisis

Finally starting to get my goddamned act together and figure out what's next in life. This has been my "midlife crisis" year - trying to figure out what paths to take as I enter the next big phase of my life.

They say that the first part of your life, you just jump into whatever careers and opportunities are interesting at the moment. You don't mind taking risks, and you don't think about consequences.

Apparently, people often reach a point where those first options don't coincide with their deep-down, mature, subconscious desires. So you go through this stage where you try to negotiate between what you have and what you want / need.

Fortunately, I believe that my mature desires are pretty close to what I'm already doing. But let me tell you, making a living as an artist is no walk in the park. It's a constant exercise in faith... that you're doing the right thing, that people will like your work, that another gig is going to come up.

But it blows the balls off sitting in an office nine to five (or six, or seven, or eight, or weekends), working on someone else's project.

I have a feeling the economy is headed into a dump for a few years. And when people run out of money, art is the first thing that people stop buying. But they WILL keep watching Hollywood movies and shitty TV shows.

So I'm going to ride this crazy horse until I can't do it any more, then get back into the TV / film industry if I ever start to starve. So there's some backup.

(I'm probably hurting my backup plan by dissing the film / TV industry on my blog, though.)