Tuesday, May 17, 2011

harry potter

Here's my image of the day. Like it? I knew you would!

I don't have a scanner or a camera on me and I don't feel like showing anything from my 'puter work tonight.

The above pages are a quick comic I did this morning - recording a conversation I had with a girl at the Starfucks near where I'm staying. This is pretty much verbatim:

SCENE: In line at Starfucks. Two ladies, mid-twenties, are ahead of JAY in line, talking to the cashier. The FIRST CHICK orders, then it's the SECOND ONE's turn to order:

SECOND ONE: I just want a glass of water, actually, because I slept with Harry Potter last night.

JAY looks up from the book he's reading while in line.

JAY (Amused): You slept with Harry Potter?

SECOND ONE: Yeah! I woke up, and I was like, "I slept with Harry Potter!"

JAY: Like, the actor who PLAYS Harry Potter, or a dream?

SECOND ONE: No, I slept with Harry Fucking Potter. His brother - he looks just like him and he has photos with him. I had sex with Harry Potter.

JAY: Okay, so you didn't sleep with a fantasy wizard-boy! You slept with the brother of the...

SECOND ONE: Yeah! I slept with Harry Potter!

FIRST CHICK: Oh my god, are you going to tell everyone?

SECOND ONE: Yes. I'm going to tell them he performed clitoral stimulation with his magic wand.

By now we are outside. I'm sitting at a table, drawing (writing all this down), and they're sitting nearby. No one else is around.

SECOND ONE's phone rings:

SECOND ONE (answering phone): Hi, I just had sex with Harry Potter. Yeah! Well, his brother. No, for real, yeah! No, seriously! In real life they're genetically related.

JAY cackles.

SECOND ONE (still on phone): I met D-Rad's bro, and I slayed him.

JAY (laughing): You are fucking hilarious. I feel like I'm watching a Seinfeld episode or something.

FIRST CHICK: Oh my god, now random people are, like, listening to you!

SECOND ONE (to me and the person on the phone): No, this is for real, though. He sounded just like him.


She was so excited, and happy to share it with the world. It was pretty awesome. Made my morning.

Postscript: Kelsey's comments below are worth reading. Especially the part where it turns out that Daniel Radcliffe is an only chlid.


  1. I have to weigh in on this one.

    Now, I guess this mentality has existed for a long time. I'm sure people, guys specifically, having been getting laid on the merits of knowing or being related to someone famous. I'm sure people have been giving it up to people who are associated with the famous for equally as long. What I'm saying is, there's probably no statute of limitations on being sexually pathetic.

    This one though, takes the proverbial sex-cake.

    In all likelihood, this female probably slept with a young English guy who knows he appears somewhat like Daniel Radcliffe. Dumpy, pasty white and with an accent. So this narrows it down to several million Brits, none of which are in any way related to Harry Potter. This sounds like one of the most obvious on-vacation-trying-to-get-laid lines in the book.

    Maybe she did sleep with "D-Rad's" brother though but is this anything to be proud of? Let's face it, some genetic knockoff of Harry Potter is still exactly that. This guy wouldn't see a va-jay-jay outside of his high school science book if it weren't for those movies. In the absence of fame he would have less a chance of getting laid than Geddy Lee and if his brother looks like him, he would have just as little or less. Let's remember, D-Rad at least has the ability to parrot the lines of dialogue someone else wrote. His brother doesn't even have that.

    To openly brag about this in public is simply astounding. To do it to a stranger who looks like Jay White shows that this female lost whatever remained of her self respect in a sweaty encounter last night with what appeared to someone who was "genetically related" (obviously she's a scientist)to Daniel Radcliffe. The fact that she had to tell her friend on the phone that, "no this one was real" is the real give away.

    What we have here people, is the classic star-f*cker.

    The only question left is whether or not she has slept with Liam Gallagher's fat retarded, half-cousin through marriage?

  2. As a follow up: Daniel Radcliffe is an only child.

    She porked a look alike.

  3. We live in a world where people loudly brag about sexual encounters in public places. I want to cry.